Mindset Makeover: How to Talk Yourself into Winning and Stop Self-Sabotage

Hey friends,

I’ve been pondering a quote by Dennis Waitley lately, and it’s got me thinking about the language we use as leaders – and how it shapes our reality.

Waitley said: “Winners say, ‘I must, I can, I will.’ Losers say, ‘I should have, I could have, I wish I had.'”

Now, before you roll your eyes at another motivational quote, hear me out. As someone who’s committed to the journey of self-awareness and higher thinking, I believe this quote offers a powerful insight into the connection between our thoughts, our words, and our results.

The Inner Dialogue of a Winner

Think about the winner’s language for a moment:

  • I must: There’s a fire in this phrase, a sense of purpose and urgency. It speaks to a deep-rooted belief that the goal is not just desirable, but essential.

  • I can: This is pure confidence, a trust in one’s abilities and resilience. It’s the voice that says, “Challenges are opportunities for growth, and I’m up for the task.”

  • I will: This is the ultimate commitment, a vow to take action and see it through. It’s a recognition that our choices and efforts are what drive our progress.

This is the kind of self-talk that propels us forward, that empowers us to create the reality we envision.

The Trap of the Loser’s Language

Now, let’s shift gears and look at the loser’s language:

  • I should have: Ah, the familiar sting of regret. This phrase anchors us in the past, replaying missed chances and what-ifs.

  • I could have: This is the voice of unfulfilled potential, whispering about paths not taken and possibilities left unexplored.

  • I wish I had: This is the final surrender to longing, a resignation to a reality that feels out of reach.

While these phrases might seem harmless, they can create a mental and emotional prison. They keep us trapped in a cycle of self-blame and inaction, preventing us from moving forward.

Rewriting Your Script

So, how do we shift our internal dialogue from loser to winner? It’s not about denying the past or ignoring our shortcomings. It’s about choosing a more empowering narrative:

  • Awareness: Pay attention to your thoughts and words. Notice when you slip into the loser’s language and gently challenge those patterns.

  • Reframing: Replace those self-defeating phrases with more positive affirmations. Instead of “I should have,” try “Next time, I will.” Instead of “I could have,” declare “I am capable.”

  • Action: Turn your words into reality. Take steps towards your goals, even if they’re small ones. Every action reinforces your commitment and strengthens your belief in yourself.

The Choice is Yours

Remember, you have the power to choose the story you tell yourself. The words you use matter because they shape your perception of reality. By consciously shifting your language, you can unlock a new level of self-belief and create a life that truly reflects your potential.

As always, I’m here with you on this journey of self-discovery and growth. Keep leading with awareness, my friends!